I think about all of the times I pitied myself or seen in others physical/personal “imperfections.” Trying to be a “perceptive person” I began to unavoidably see “flaws” all around me; flaws I had been trained to see. Of late, I have realized that none of it was and will ever be honestly true.
A huge injustice is being done to all of us! Don’t we all feel inadequate from time to time( for some of us, all the time)? There’s always something to pick out, whether it be our physical appearance or our personality (pretty much anything about who we are that “comes up short”). I am talking about the struggle beyond a healthy desire to grow and mature as a person or the desire to be the best, healthiest, version of oneself in order to bring FREEDOM to live life. FREEDOM is the key word here.
Lately I have begun to notice the strong desire for freedom within myself. It is a drive that continues to grow in me and the more I get, the more I want whatever will give me more of it.
But back to feeling inadequate...
Whenever these so called “flaws” (whether it be something I notice or someone else notices as an "oddity" in my actual physical appearance) are noticed it sprouts a distressing discouragement. The idea creates a feeling of helplessness and unfairness that an individual was somehow given or found oneself to be the way they are: short of perfection, short of just a few things(or a lot of things). And if these things were “fixed” then one would truly be free, have joy, and move on with life in confidence (without boundaries) to accomplish all that was ever desired.
Yet we never seem to get there do we?
Why?
Because this very thought pattern is what cages us. And it comes from a collective cultural definition of beauty and adequacy.
I could replace "fat "with "short "( I am 5' 2" 3/4) if I took to heart everything that is said to me.
Yet you may be thinking right now, “Then why does it feel like truth?”
"Why is it then, when I go to the mirror the first thing that comes to mind is a negative perspective on some aspect of my physical appearance?"
Or may be you do not even have to look at the mirror or at yourself. May be it is a thought always in your mind.
One may ask, "If it is not truth, then, why is this negative thought (such as, 'my nose is too big,' or 'my eyes are too close together.' or 'my stomach pokes out too much,' ) comes before I am able to make my own assessment of what I will perceive?"
The answer is = the preconditioning of our society. Here is a theory: when these negative thoughts come, so does a feeling of unfairness that one has to live with these attributes that were not “meant to be.” Therefore these attributes are seen as defects and people see themselves as defected.
The result= In the back of a person's mind, every day, they believe themselves to be defected. This is the sad truth of it all. But the sooner we realize the lie we believe, the sooner we can turn this lie on it's head.
So... when it comes to physical attributes belonging to a person, who is to say that they are defects? If one’s body is what it is, how can it be wrong? Now, it is one thing to be unhealthy and that is a whole different story. But if you do your best to keep yourself as fit and healthy as possible, without it going out of BALANCE the other way into an unhealthy obsession to be fit, why would we allow some collective culture to set up a standard other than the best version of our present selves?
There is a reason why this all seems unfair and that somehow it has to be wrong. It is.
Yet, the thought that you were made to be beautiful is one that seems too good to be true.
It sounds silly thinking about it now. But unfortunately this is why preconditioning is so powerful. It gets underneath everything and underhandedly dodges our common sense. We should never be ashamed of what we cannot (in a healthy way) control.
But I challenge us all to think a little differently... some things that seem too good to be true, may actually be true.
Lets open our eyes to see beauty in the unexpected places. You may be surprised :)
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